10/12/2012

I'm finally here!Well I got here last night but that's beside the point.

Katie and her dad came to pick me up from the bus station and as we were driving back to hers I was like a child in a sweet shop.

Staring about the place in total awe.
Because Southampton seems pretty and clean to me.

And their bridge had pretty blue lights!

OMG I was so amused, it was really quite sad!

But no today was good.
We went in to the town and wandered about and then came back.
Lazed about.
Helped out with Katie's art collage project.
Dinner
Telly.
Shower.
And now this.And from doing hardly any walking today I am really surprised to say that I am actually quite tired!

=3

That's a new one for me!

Plans for tomorrow:
Roller Disco
CinemaI'm really excited, I've never done roller disco before! :-D It's going to be ace.
And then I think that the cinema is like half an hour after that and we are going to see "The Woman In Black" which looks so totally awesome!
Fun daaaaay planned ahead.
Katie has totally planned everything out.
It's cute.
Lol.

So other news....I really have none.
Pretty much been a bum.
Seeing an Irish guy, Aaron. It's safe to say that I am in love with his accent!
Seriously!Laura is proud of me because he seems genuinely really nice!

Go me! Get back to Glasgow on Thursday.
Sign on.
Friday I'm working which I am really looking forward too. Hoping to get more than 3 poxy hours this time! 

31/01

Last day in January.

First month of 2012 over.

I feel kind of funny today.

Like weird.

9 days till I leave for Southampton for the week.

I well and truly cannot wait.

Nothing has really been happening with me recently.

Working Friday, Saturdays.

Was out on Saturday night, for Matt's 21st.

It was a good night that ended kind of badly.

I ended up cracking this guy in the face.

So he put his hand through my bathroom door.

My neighbour came out twice.

First time everything was sorted.

Second time, Matt went out, totally out of his face and shouted sook me at her.

When my landlady came round yesterday she told me that my neighbour had been up to the agency and was really quite rude to her.

And she put a complaint in to the police.

Smashing.

I haven't heard anything from it so it would seem that I was safe just now.

The guy came round to look at the boiler today...finally.

He's supposed to be returning tomorrow with the part that has to be replaced.

I really do hope that it gets done.

I cannot be assed with all this crap anymore! 

23/01/2012

Sorry I've been missing.

Blogspot how I have missed you so!

Right, well where to start....

I've started working Friday and Saturdays for my wee dad.

No guy just now, it's kind of weird for me.

I'm interested in a few people but nothing has really come of it.

Whether that's a good or bad thing is beyond me.

Seeing Katie soon.

Mega buzzed much!

Started saving for it. Ok I haven't saved a lot but I have now at least started.

And just thinking that on the 7th the Job Centre pays me so if I keep saving then I'll be fine.

The flat seems to be proving as more hassle and stress than what it's worth.

Still haven't got the internet sorted, hence the lack of posts.

The boiler has stopped working in it.

Proved today.

Going to speak to the girl, Melanie about it tomorrow.

See what I mean about nothing occurring with me at the moment.

God this is somewhat...

Depressing.

4th January

Happy new year!
I know I'm late but hey better late than never eh?!

My life has been in shambles recently.

Moved out of my dad's and in to my own wee flat in Largs.

Paul has been round once. It's frustrating me.

Up at my mums today and tomorrow and for half of Friday to watch her cats and house while her and Michael go for a relaxing spa and getaway couple of days before she is back in work.

So bored right now.

Sitting listening to random crap on youtube.

Downloaded 2x Skrillex albums.

Ooooh! I got Katie's tickets through so it looks like I'll definitely be going to Southampton now!

Mega buzzed or what!

Tattooed last night.

£50 will be getting dropped in for me on Friday.

Got my friend getting £40 worth of work done at 2pm on Friday too.

Yah I will have more money to live off of!

Thank God.

'Nuff said.

Early hours of Boxing day

Okay so it's 03:37

And my ex boyfriend is texting me

Apparently he still has feelings for me and woudln't mind us being together

Just took him more or less this full year to come out and text me

I'm not bothered

I know that I don't have feelings in the slightest towards him

because I can safely and happily say that I am totally head over heels in love with Paul

but that's me fucked up another guy

Why do I do this to people?
Like seriously

After my first love, I actually took to warning guys that I would end up fucking them up one way or another, unintentionally.

Putting them off by telling them that they don't want to be with me because I am a psycho and such

And that at the end of everything I will end up on top and better off than them

So far I haven't been proved wrong

But like part of me feels bad.

Every time this happens.

Like when my ex had come out and told me how he felt my heart just sank.

I honestly don't know what to do.

Like I told Paul he texted me and such and I told Paul when we started seeing each other and he was talking about being in a relationship with me that he didn't want to and gave him the speech about why not.

He still wants me.

He says he loves me.

I believe him.

I trust him.

I know I'm going to end up more hurt than ever at the end of this.

I just know it.

But in my head, heart and soul I really just do not care!

But I should.

This stuff scares me. I haven't ever been like this.

 I haven't felt like this since my first true love. Who at the moment hasn't popped in to my head for the past week.

But at the same time, I know that I love Paul. I do. I really do. But I am not and never will be the number one person in his life. I'll never be his first priority. In a sense I couldn't be happier but in another part of me, it is hurt, saddened at this thought because me knowing what I am like, I know that there will come a day where he means absolutely everything to me and yet I won't be everything to him because of his 1 and a half year old son, Nathan and his daughter Alyssa who is due in January. I know that if his ex finds out he is seeing someone else she is going to make it extremely difficult for him to see his babies, and I don't want that to happen.

I probably shouldn't have drank that can of orange rockstar so late. After my wee 6-8pm nap I wasn't tired but the rockstar is now making me consider doing an all-nighter and such.

I can't get over the argument that Tony and I had earlier, it was unreal, brutal. Hurtful. Like I just can't get over some of the things he said, I can't get my head around some of the things I had said either. I can't get over why Steve would have posted the things he did on the conversation. His lies. I think that after I mailed Steve and explained myself in shortened form he took a step back to realise that I wasn't the liar in this situation but it was infact Tony. This would happen to me. I'm going to keep his name on my CV as a reference even though I know myself that he probably won't say very nice things about me now. It's going to be so difficult. He said that if I send him 40quid then he will send me up my stuff in good condition, I know myself that he won't. I'd like to think that he would but I just can't see it happening. It'll either go on him putting it up his nose or into helping him sort out his debts.

This song is amazing:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IFVHliyGqBs

If anyone hasn't seen Baz Luhrmann's Romeo and Juliet, made in 1996 then I suggest you check it out. It is an absolutely inspiring, amazing film. I love it. Downloaded it the other night and watched half of it that night and the other half in the morning and then the whole thing the night after.



It's Christmas!

Today has been eventful.

Interesting.

Fun.

Mum got me up at 8am because Poppy was leaving so we got to open our presents this morning!

Then Tony started texting me which after about two hours got boring, and I asked him to stop. When he persisted to text I put it on facebook!
Which was fun!

Made Steve comment with all these bullshit lies saying that I lead him on, that I fucked him and my friends' boyfriends.

All lies!

It's going to come out sooner or later that he was the liar in this scenario and not me!

I mean he lied to me saying that I was the reason that our head artist John was wanting to leave the shop, after John saw the comments on facebook he texted me saying that I knew the real reason and obviously that facebook wasn't the place for those discussions to take place!

Obv not!

After a few more lying texts and messages from Steve everything died down.

Well that's me not texting Tony anymore.

Thank God!

I could not be happier in all honesty!

All that pervert has caused me is grief.

I want him to drop dead.

I'm currently sitting dressed again waiting for my friend April to come and pick me up because we are going to go to the pub in West Kilbride to have a drink with her boyfriend and his friends.

Yays!

Dress from my mum!

Just before going to the pub with April!



Christmas Eve

Sitting in my mums.

Shattered.

Sisters still aren't talking to me.

It's quite awkward. Thought I was getting to see Paul tonight.

Isn't looking too good.

Got a new hat. Well my Dad got me one and I bought the same one in a different colour yesterday.

Don't I look hot?!

<3